My wife Pat and I were building a home in a retirement community located in Bakersfield, CA. One day, while watching the different contractors engaging in their prospective activities on our proposed new home, I decided to have some fun. Although the questions I asked were mostly aimed at the air conditioning people, I included the rest of the contractors in the conversation.

"Gentlemen, do any of you know where one can get a ventilation system?" I asked.

Collectively, they looked at the air conditioning contractor. He responded, "You already have a top-notch air conditioning unit, did you want a second unit, or, perhaps, even a larger one?"

"Oh, it’s not for my home. I was curious if you or one of you could help me in my quest."

Once again, everyone looked at the air conditioning contractor for his response. He answered. "Sure, I can get you one, but they’re pretty out-dated. How big of a unit are you looking for?"

Printed across the pocket of his shirt was his name. It read John.

"John, I need one that can control temperature."

John responded with, "An air conditioning system would be better suited for that."

"I agree, but I want to see if a ventilation system is available that can meet certain requirements."

"You mean in addition to temperature control?"

"Yes."

I looked at each of the men present and then continued. "It must also control humidity."

"Humidity and temperature control? I’m not sure if anything like that exists," said John.

I responded, "Oh, it exists, but there’s still more. In addition to the first two requirements, it must also be able to remove dust particles before it reaches the interior."

"John, that shouldn’t be much of a problem," said another contractor. "Couldn’t you just adapt a screen of sorts on it?"

"Maybe," said a now curious John.

I looked to the contractor who made the suggestion of the screen and asked, "This screen, would it also be able to remove infectious organisms at the same time it’s removing the dust particles?"

The group looked at the contractor who had a quizzical look; he then turned to John for an answer.

"I’ve never heard of any kind of a screen that can do that, especially for removing infection, or whatever you called them."

"Infectious organisms," I repeated, "They have to be removed immediately upon entering the unit but before they get into the body of the unit itself. And, not only remove them, but deposit them in a container of sorts to be eliminated from the unit so as not to infect, or affect, the rest of the unit."

"Mister, are you sure something like this already exists?" asked one of the men.

"Maybe in Germany," said another.

"Or China, or maybe even Japan. They do remarkable things in those countries," chimed in another, laughing at his suggestions.

"Oh they have them in China, as well as Germany and Japan. I was curious; however, if any of you could duplicate my request."

"Let’s see," said John, "you need something to control temperature, humidity, and keep dust particles and those infectious things out before they get into the inside of whatever we’re talking about."

"Exactly right" I looked again at each of them, "and, there’s more. This ventilation system must be able to take the outside air, regardless of the temperature and change it to a comfortable 90ish."

"The outside air regardless of the temperature, just what variants are you talking about?" asked John.

I looked John directly into his eyes and answered, "From a minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit to somewhere over 100 degrees."

"Wow, from a minus 40 to a plus 100, that’s some pretty large parameters, and maybe, somehow, it could be accomplished. It would take considerable time to do that large of a temperature conversion, so that’s another thing to take into consideration."

"John, thank you for your positive attitude," I responded. "While you’re considering the temperature changes, let’s include the humidity as well."

"And what would those parameters be?" asked John.

"Let’s say from a low of about 1 percent to a high of more than 90 percent, but it must be converted to a constant 75 to 80 percent."

"At the same time it’s changing the temperature," stated one of them.

"And keeping the bugs out as well," added another.

"Sir, those are some pretty radical variants, the temperature and humidity and all. I don’t know of any thing that would even come close to what you are asking for," said John, "or could even be built," he added.

"I guess if you can’t meet those requirements, I shouldn’t even mention the rest of them," My response was somewhat of a challenge.

"Okay, let’s say it could be designed and built, do you have any idea as to how much it would cost, and the size. Oh my gosh, the size would be astronomical. Where would you put such a behemoth?" asked John.

"Oh, I have a place for it," I answered, grinning.

"Why don’t you just get one from one of those other countries?" asked someone.

"You are giving up, aren’t you?" I asked, looking around at the questioner.

"It can’t be done," said another.

"Guys, I get the feeling you’re giving up on me. I thought you were the best in the business. Look, if you can’t do it, perhaps you know someone who can make such a unit." I said it with a slight smirk.

"Mister, you mentioned the rest of them. What else? I mean, what other requirements do you have?"

"Just two other things, the size of the unit and the length of time required to do all of these things."

"Well, we already know what the size has to be, according to John," said one of them, "as big as a behemoth."

"Nope, too big, the size should be less than 6 inches," I countered, but before I could continue I was interrupted.

"Yeah mister, and you need all of these things, the temperature change, humidity change, keep out the dust and bugs, and the size must be less than 6 inches. You probably are going to ask that these things be done in a couple of seconds," he said laughingly while looking at the rest of the guys for approval.

"Close," I answered. "Actually, all of these things must be done in less than a second." I looked at each of them and only saw incredulous expressions on their faces.

"To be exact," I hesitated before continuing, waiting for their complete attention, "these things must be accomplished in one-fourth of a second!"

"One-fourth of a second? Totally impossible," stated one of them.

"Are you sure they have them in China and Japan?" asked another.

"Or Germany," another added laughingly.

"Yes, they have them in all of those countries, and every other country in the world. In fact, everyone one I know, and have ever met, including each of you, from what I can see, already have one." I said.

"Impossible, it would take an act of God to accomplish what you are asking for," said John.

"Gentlemen, John is right, exactly right. It did take an act of God to accomplish this feat, and Man with all of his computers and brainpower cannot duplicate it. This, gentlemen, can accomplish all of these requirements and does them in less that one-fourth of a second," I said as I pointed to my nose.